When I push all of the negative things out of the way (such as the yetzer harah and the negative voices in my head) and as I logistically figure out details-when I see that happening (as it is slowly beginning to now) there is no doubt in my mind. I see myself doing what I need to do in my life. I see myself shining and glowing. I see the world and it looks brighter to me. Making a difference not only in other people's lives, but in my own, too. I light up when I look at a piece of text that I have not studied before (or even if I have). I light up when I do a mitzvah-or when I see other people doing mitzvot.
I should just embrace it. it is not going to be easy, but I really do believe this is what's going to make me truly happy-Some opportunity for me to be able to give to the Jewish People. Whether that is teaching, being a pulpit rabbi or some other form of a rabbi. I know I have to do this. And please know I am open to change and evolving.
Please tell me your thoughts.
2 comments:
I am so glad that you've realized that once you push the negative thoughts out of your mind and worry about what might happen in the future you have truly seen that learning about Judaism and teaching other about the religion. I know you will serve the vocation with "Neshama".
Lauren, you can be whatever YOU want to be & don't ever forget it. I will be proud of you if you choose this path, or change your mind along the way... as long as you continue to grow and learn. Lovies!
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